Dear China,
China, China, China. I know you’re not all bad. You have good food and your architecture is pretty cool, despite the fact that some of your walls are flimsy and highly flammable. You just can’t seem to get past this whole oppressive authoritarian government thing, though.
Stop living in the past. The results are in from the global experiment on totalitarianism during the early 20th century. Turns out no one liked it. Nazism? Believed by most casual observers to be the most pure embodiment of evil mankind has ever witnessed. Stalinism? Actually killed more people than Hitler and was more oppressive to the people. It’s currently only viewed favorably by a few crazies around the world. Maoism? Well, you guys in China actually made the Nazis and Bolsheviks look downright kind. Sure, the Soviets starved millions of Ukrainians to death, but the Maoists dwarfed that death toll and it was your own people!
It’s time to move on. You say you’re just doing what’s best for China, but if you actually took an honest poll, you’d be surprised how many people would like to be able to protest without being run over by a tank. You’d be shocked how many people would like to have free access to information, especially a news media that isn’t controlled by you. If you asked about gambling, I can ensure you that you won’t have millions of Chinese saying “Please protect me from spending my money! I know you can be more responsible with my money than I can, so please take it from me. By all means, don’t let me gamble!”
I want to like you, China. President Nixon visited you a while back and said something along the lines of “Hey, you’re not as evil as you used to be; let’s do business.” And it’s true. You’re not as evil as you used to be. You have given up control of the economy to the free market. Now it’s time to embrace other types of freedom, such as freedom of expression, freedom of press, and the freedom to bet on a soccer game without getting sent to prison for a year.
That’s what happened yesterday, China. Don’t think I don’t know it. You see, we have a (mostly) free press here, so I was able to find stories with headlines such as “China man gets 1 year in prison for online gambling.” I could find it because Google doesn’t censor search results as much here.
So here’s the story as I understand it. Please correct me if I’m wrong, China. A 20-year-old man, Zhao Yah, is a soccer fan. The World Cup was going on, which just so happens to be the biggest sports tournament in the world, despite the fact that your national team didn’t qualify. He decides that since there is such a high demand for sports betting in China, despite the fact that you think it’s a no-no, he will help people bet on the games through a website. You then have him arrested and sentenced to one year in prison plus a 10,000 yuan fine for the “crime” of helping people spend their own money on a fun game that is the most popular in the world. He didn’t even own or run the website, but was only a middle man who collected bets. Did I get that right?
China, I’m glad to see that you gave him a comparatively light sentence (thanks to his cooperation), but I think this can be a teachable moment. You see, if so many people were willing to give him money to bet on the games, maybe that means that your people want legalized online gambling. Maybe you should hear them out.
I hope you take these comments not as insults but as constructive criticism. The truth is, I want to like you, China. Sure, you poison American children with your dangerous toys and support a tyrannical North Korean regime, but I know there is good in you somewhere. You need to let it out. It’s okay. Germany managed to stop being evil a long time ago. Isn’t it time you did, too?
Sincerely,
Jeremy
